Jefferson-Hemings family

One benefit of Coming to the Table is getting to see other families and hear other stories, hear how other families have been connecting and what they’ve gone through. It’s really a small group of us right now from the Jefferson family, so by meeting other families it feels like not such a small group.

Really strong relationships need to cope with fear, anger, shame, sadness. I was hoping we would begin to allow more of that to come up to be able to talk about the hurt. We got to do that. Our family used those wonderful restorative justice questions. We decided to start with the present – the past 8 years – then see how that might help us move back into the past. If we hadn’t cleared the part of the past that we were all alive for, it would be really hard to go back to the past we weren’t alive for.

I was scared on the way here. What if nobody liked me? What if they won’t talk to me, if they’re angry that I’m here? What if they resent my presence and treat me as an outsider? But I was warmly embraced and welcomed and celebrated. Like I was afraid of what? Now I feel like I’d be going to see people I know. We could still have something come up, but it would be in the context of people I know, people who care about me and who I like and enjoy and care about.

This was a chance to move to another place with the Marthas (Jefferson) and Sallys (Hemings). And seeing my cousin David Works step out: that was so cool! He’s stepping into the keeper of the dream his father had. He and I have dreams of supporting each other in this work within the family. It’s very cool, very exciting; it makes me happy.