PEACEBUILDING -
WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION

Motoko Kamimae

As a Japanese person, I am sometimes in a dilemma regarding my motivation. I think this is not just a special case of myself, but may be a common problem among Japanese people who are trying to get into this field.

I am currently working in Palestine, based at Wi'am/Palestinian Conflict Resolution Center as a volunteer. When I came to Palestine from Japan, I expected to work with peacebuilding-related projects. I was very much motivated to contribute to them. Since I arrived, I have been blessed with opportunities to observe several projects and workshops in peacebuilding and conflict resolution. I could write many articles and reports on these experiences or my own research. I also raised funds from a Japanese foundation for Wi'am at the same time. The more time I spent here, the more I learned about on-going problems that Palestinians are facing. I grew attached to people I learned to know.

However, as time goes by, I realize that I am losing my original motivation --- contribution to peacebuilding work --- because I find myself benefiting from my experiences here as a third party, but not returning anything to those who are now suffering from conflict. People here have been helping me a lot more than I am helping them! How can I say that I am motivated to contribute to peace in Palestine? My study at SPI made this question even bigger. I started bombarding myself with some questions concerning my own motivation. It was a big challenge to me.

First, why am I, as a Japanese person, involved with Palestinian issues? Japan is geographically and ethnically far away from this region. Before World War 2, Japan had no deep contacts with Arab countries. Even now, there are few Arab people in Japan. Of course, the Palestinian-Israeli conflict is known in our society, but it remains a remote event to us. We can survive for life without touching this conflict at all. When I was in SPI, I found that many participants were very much motivated because they live with conflict every day. I remember how much I was overwhelmed by their stories based on their experiences. But in my case, Japan is far away not only from the Middle East, but also from other major religious/ethnic conflicts. Contribution to peace in other parts of the world is not a priority issue to us. Thus, my nationality does not give me a concrete motivation.

Second, I am not Jewish, Muslim, or Christian. Why do I have interest in peace in this region? Again, throughout SPI, I felt envious of people with deep faith that motivates them to work for peace. I found something very solid and sure inside them because of their strong faith and belief. They explained to me their motivations for peace. On the contrary, I do not have any specific faith. My religious background cannot be a motivation for peace.

To be honest, I even sometimes question myself.

Third, my organization in Japan, a political institute, asks me if my activity here has anything to do with Japanese national interest. One of the main concerns of Japanese foreign policy in the Middle East is oil. In this context, contributing to the stability in this region could be a motivation for Japan. But, clearly political interest does not always fit into a peacebuilding motivation. How can I tell Palestinians that I am here to secure Japanese oil?

Lastly, working in peacebuilding has nothing to do with making money. When it comes to a job, money can be one of the biggest motivations. Working for peace usually does not create any personal profit. In my case, I am lucky enough to get financial support from my institute back home, so I do not have to be concerned about making money here. Rather, people here expect me to bring money to them, which is usually not easy task.

I find myself caught in a dilemma:
a desire for peacebuilding and
doubts about my motivation for it.

Then, what can be my ultimate motivation for peacebuilding in Palestine as Japanese if I do not have any physical, spiritual, political, and financial reasons? Of course, I could easily say I am staying here because I like the people here. But it is not an appropriate reason if I want to be serious about contributing as a peacebuilder. To be honest, I even sometimes question myself. Do I want to be involved with this field just for my self-satisfaction, expecting people to tell me that I did good things for poor people? Am I only interfering with this problem for my curiosity? Am I only a Japanese hypocrite? At the end, I find myself caught in a dilemma: a desire for peacebuilding and doubts about my motivation for it.

At this time, in spite of still fighting over all these inner conflicts, I want to keep staying here, exploring further how I can be more active in this field. At the same time, I am continuing to search for the firm foundation of my motivation, which is still ambiguous. Then I hope I will find a way of making a real contribution to peace with a clear and persuading motivation in the future.

Motoko Kamimae attended SPI in 2000. She's continuing her work in Palestine.