Journal Entry 1
September 3, 2007
I’ve been in Harrisonburg for a little over a week now. I finally got furniture in my apartment this weekend. Maybe this will make it more real that this is where I will be for the next several years. I think getting into a regular schedule will help me a lot too. Right now I feel very disjointed. My living conditions are in disorder, I am learning a new work/study schedule, I don’t know how much free time I will have, and my relationship with Christ is weak. It seems that I should be strongly rooted in Christ right now, but I don’t feel that way. It has been hard to commit to personal time with Christ in the midst of all the busyness. I have just come off of a summer working at a Christian summer camp (www.beavercamp.org). It was a spiritual high and even more so it was a place where it was much easier to see and apply faith to everything that was happening. It also was a very familiar place, having worked there several summers in the past. Now I am in a completely new place, with new people and new ideas as well.
I am both excited and nervous about what is ahead here at seminary. I have received a syllabus for each of my five classes, which seems like a lot to me. At least with syllabi in hand I have an idea of the requirements for each course, although I’m not sure I want to know everything that is required of me for the next few months. There have, admittedly, been moments of anticipation of reading a certain book or, I hate to say it, writing a certain paper. My biggest fear is that I would become overwhelmed in course work and burn-out like I did in college. My last year and a half at Gordon College (www.gordon.edu) was a major struggle for me. I wasn’t feeling motivated by my classes and therefore didn’t want to study hard. I can say this now that EMS has already accepted me, but the last year of college I really just coasted through academically. What kept me going then were friends and other activities such as lacrosse.
One of the things that I am realizing about EMS, as I am spending time around the campus and with other students, is that it really is a community. Some of the best experiences in my life have come while alongside others. I anticipate that this will play a large part in my experience here as well. I am surrounded by others who have either gone through or are going through the same classes as I am and can lend support or encouragement as needed. I hope that I am able to lend the same support and encouragement to others as well. I know that this is where God wants me to be; I really don’t doubt that. However, I still have yet to realize exactly why he wants me here. I anticipate that among other things, you and I can join together this year in trying to figure out a little of what God has on His mind.
