The Path to CTP: A Personal Journey

D. Tompkins

   Things weren't the same anymore, everything had changed...all that was familiar was now different somehow. Something had happened, a complete shift had occurred within me leaving in its wake a freedom of spirit yet a knowing that what lie ahead would not happen quickly, and would require diligent long distance planning and total commitment on my part.

   That was December 4,995, the day my journey unknowingly began to the Conflict Transformation Program (CTP) at Eastern Mennonite University (EMU). Three years and five months later I was preparing to attend my first class as a graduate student in EMU's Summer Peacebuilding Institute. So, what was life like before that day in December all those years ago? What had happened to cause a 360-degree turn in my life? It is here the story begins, with a vacation trip...

   This was my fifth packing simulation. "Only take what is absolutely needed, basic items, only in exact amounts for nine days' use," my trusty post-it note voice recited again in my head. It came as no surprise that it took five attempts to accomplish this goal and overcome my habit of packing all those "what-if" items. Now with that challenge out of the way, I could finally revel in the excitement of this five-year-dream-adventure-vacation "just around the corner!" While Guatemala wasn't part of the dream, the rainforest part sounded exotic and adventurous which made for a nice fit. This Central American country provided something new and different. While the obvious fact that I would be visiting a third world country was conscious knowledge, the literal ramifications had not yet been personally realized. Little did I know that this experience would change my life in ways beyond imagination. This, after all, was a vacation - an opportunity for adventure, exploration, and fun - doing what I totally loved and had lived to do since 1987 - whitewater kayaking.

   "Ignorance is bliss," whispered one of my internal voices as I walked through the airport after landing in Guatemala City. While we were told there would be armed guards everywhere, somehow my brain couldn't connect with what exactly that looked like, not to mention the sensation that reality invoked. They were everywhere, carrying rifles along the roads we traveled, manning highway check posts, and patrolling the city of Antigua where our group first gathered. A great relief of sizable proportion descended upon me once we began to make our way into the Kekchi Mayan rainforest where men with guns were seen less often. But there was something else that caused another silent shock within - the faces of all those people, fellow human beings and the degree of poverty they lived in. I had read about conditions in third world countries and seen programs on television but the experiential knowledge was overwhelming.

   As we made our way deeper into the rainforest and then on the river, I saw people living in grass huts with mud floors. There was no electricity, no running water. They grew and raised their own food, and possessed handmade items for cooking, eating, gardening and fishing. It brought previous hours of reading National Geographic magazines to life in a way that even now is difficult to put into words. It was something in the eyes of the gentle Kekchi Mayan people, a genuine warmth and gentleness of spirit that was touching, revealing, and healing. Their warmth and gentleness touched my heart revealing a truth about the preciousness of life, of what really mattered, and something within me began to heal from this new awareness and understanding. Here in the mist of these gentle people, my needs and ideals were altered like a snake shedding it's skin.

   Thus began my walk on a path of intentional change. I began working toward leaving the accounting/business world I had known for twenty-three years, letting go of all material items that I did not absolutely need or use on a regular basis, selling my home with the goal of moving into a smaller house and creating a simpler lifestyle. My initial plan was to eventually move to the mountains of North Carolina, seek employment in the accounting department of a river outfitter, and work my way into their whitewater kayaking instruction program. The weekend before my last week of employment I participated in a community mediation training and discovered my new career path of mediation and conflict resolution.

   With my education and career experience background in an opposite arena of this new career adventure, I began looking at returning to school and researching available graduate programs, with a personal location guideline of living in the mountains. Somewhere during this information-gathering period, I had reached a place where the decision was between Harrisonburg, Virginia and Denver, Colorado. Two realities steered me to EMU. One, it had been brought to my attention that EMU is highly credited with offering an outstanding program in conflict studies taught by "leaders in the field!" one person told me. Two, moving to Virginia from North Carolina produced a lower register on my fear meter than moving halfway across the United States to Colorado. While I knew no one in either Harrisonburg or Denver, Virginia was much closer to family and friends in North Carolina.

   After one visit to CTP and a conversation with Jan Jenner, I left campus with an application packet in hand and a knowing that this was where I was intended to be. Plan B, in the event my application had been rejected, was to follow through with the move to Harrisonburg and take courses until my application was accepted. Currently I am a second year student concentrating in Restorative Justice with a specific focused interest in Indigenous Justice - Healing Circles.

D. Tompkins has been coordinating a Soros-funded Victims Listening Project for CTP. She remains an avid outdoors person.